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  • Writer's pictureEvan Billups

Tips for Bonding With Your Donor Baby

You’re an intended mother and you’ve just gone through the egg donation process. You are excited to finally be a parent, but you are worried that you won’t bond with your baby, as they are not biologically related to you. You are wondering, Is this normal? What should I do?

First of all, it’s okay! Worrying about bonding with your donor baby is a very common concern among intended mothers and parents. You are very normal for feeling this way, and not alone.

Second of all, it’s going to be okay. Many women who have given birth or been a parent to a donor egg baby say that it was easy to bond with their baby, and the pregnancy did not “feel” any different. For many intended parents, the donor egg element actually helped with the bonding process, as they’ve had to overcome so much to conceive that it only made them want their baby more.

However, if you do find that you are having trouble bonding with your baby, don’t fret! Women’s hormones often fluctuate after birth, so it is normal to feel moody (and for your partner to be influenced as well). Give yourself time to recover, eat, rest, and stay healthy. Taking time for yourself during this period will not hurt your ability to bond with your baby – on the contrary, it will help you to feel your best, which in turn will help your relationship with your newborn.

Here are some further tips for bonding (for mothers or fathers):

Skin to Skin Contact

Skin to skin contact can be a great way to feel close to your baby. There are many opportunities for this throughout the day, from feeding time, to soothing your crying baby, to play time.

Carry Your Baby

Many parents find it helpful to carry around their baby in a carrier or sling. This brings the baby close to your body, while also allowing you to walk around and go about your day with the baby as part of that.

Have a Bedtime Routine

Having a bedtime routine is a good way to end the day with your child, and help establish a relationship with them. This nighttime routine can be made up of whatever you’d like: bath time, story time, singing songs, etc.

Just Be There

Simply by being present and spending time with your baby, you will feel closer to them. Remember that every parent’s journey – whether they went through IVF or not – is different. Give it time, and be confident in your ability to be a great parent!

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